Ten Dumbest Colorado COVID Moments of 2020

The year 2020 has been unprecedented in many ways. We would never have believed so much world-churning insanity would take place in one year – that in December 2020 we would have engaged in the wholesale destruction of entire sectors of the Colorado and US economies to increase the chances of not dying from a virus with a 99.98% survival rate.

As much as media-driven craziness and polarization have blown up during the Trump presidency, we never would have expected to be witnessing the wholesale theft of an American presidential election and capitulation of the political class to the phony results. Here in Colorado, we had some of the biggest clown shoe moments seen during the COVID-19 hysteria – and they continue.

Yet 2020 is drawing to a close. And so Mile High Evening News presents the Top Ten Dumbest COVID-19 moments in Colorado.

10. Socially Distant in an Empty Park: In April, 33-year-old former state patrol office Matt Mooney was arrested by Brighton police for not being properly socially distant. He was playing ball with his daughter in an empty park. The police promptly apologized.

9. Hancock’s Laughable Hypocrisy: On November 25th, Michael Hancock told Denver residents not to travel for Thanksgiving to supposedly slow the spread of COVID-19. Within the hour, he was on a plane to Houston to visit family for Thanksgiving.

8. It’s Raining Ventilators: On March 30th, Polis claimed that Colorado needed 9000-10000 ventilators for COVID patients. Then we bought them. Colorado’s peak ventilator use? 471.

7. Colorado Assembly Shows Their Belly: During Colorado’s so-called Special Session to try to to drum up state-level coronavirus assistance, Colorado lawmakers were presented with several opportunities to curb emergency executive power and return it to the legislature (the people). Democrats killed every one of the bills in committee, ensuring Polis’ one-man rule of Colorado would continue, and leaving the door open for future executive abuse of emergency powers.

6. Lock Up the Kids: Larimer County Department of Public Health sent a letter to an elementary-age student threatening arrest and a $5000 fine if they failed to quarantine after supposedly being exposed to somebody infected with the novel coronavirus. The threatening and creepy letter also demanded access to the child whenever the LCDPE wanted to check up on them.

5. Freedom Knows No Age: In October, senior citizens in a Greeley assisted living facility were forced to stage their own lockdown protest to fight the abuse and injustice of suffering eight months of not seeing their loved ones. Protesters waves signs reading “We are prisoners in our home” and “I’d rather die of COVID than loneliness.” This had no effect on the benevolent protectors in Denver.

4. Polis Gets the ‘Rona: After months and months of lecturing Coloradoans on what was supposedly necessary to stop the coronavirus – including calling people selfish bastards for not obeying – Jared Polis announced entirely without a hint of irony that he had reportedly contracted the coronavirus. He still has yet to tell Colorado which of his sacrosanct rules were violated that caused his infection.

3. UC Health Model of Doom: The coronavirus model (still in use) which predicts unobserved mitigation behavior based on anything that happens (deaths between 100 and 37,000 with hospitalizations between 900-282,000) was off by at least 10X, yet continues to drive the idiotic and crazy COVID dial that has cost over 500,000 Coloradoans their jobs.

2. Hospital to Nowhere: At a cost of $60,000 a day (not to mention $70 million in setup costs), Colorado leased the Colorado Convention Center from the City and County of Denver for the entirety of 2020 as a makeshift hospital for the predicted overflow of hospital capacity. No such overflow has ever been close to happening. This blunder has cost taxpayers over 100 million dollars.

1. Pistol for Grandma’s Head: Leading up to the Thanksgiving holiday, Polis said in a press conference that gathering in non-government approved numbers without requisite time in isolation was “like bringing a pistol for Grandma’s head.” He still hasn’t figured out who apparently brought the pistol for his head (since he contracted the coronavirus, we hear).

Unfortunately, there stands to be many more panic-based lowlights from Colorado in 2021.